I grew up in a church. My parents, they were the type who liked to keep appearences up. This was the sort of church we belonged in. "No one was sinners" --I quote that because thats the feel you get. No one is open to their wrong doings and if you admit to it in front of the congregation the church doors were pretty much shut to you.

Thus, my family needed to look for a new church... with reason to.

I was daddy's little girl, his angel, his baby girl. Whatever, my dad and I used to do everything together. He used to take me for long walks in the evenings and we'd hold hands and talk, ususally about how school interest me, and how I wanted to be a professional dancer...

I was blind to a lot of things as a child, I saw, but I didnt believe.

Ironic how usually seeing is believeing... but not in this case. My dad and my mother had fought numberous times, the last ones I rememeber over money. Mom wanted a new house, dad wanted to stay. Dad wanted to go to his parents, mom wanted to stay home. Opposites I tell you... and somewhere between those two... you'll find me.

Hard to ever believe I'm their child.

Well, eventually my dad left. Til this day there is still pain on the subject. The one father I thought Id ever had left me, abandoned... and as for the first man to love me? Well... my father stopped, or just doesnt show it... but my real Father never will stop... took me time to realize that.

I fell into depression after some time and til this day Im still going to a theripist and on meds for depression.

I haven't had the roughest life... but it hasnt been easy. There have been times where Ive felt completely utterly alone. And we all have... but I'm here to say you are not alone... NEVER!

Til this day my life isnt as smooth at butter... its often hard and tiring, but the Lord has never given me something I can't handle. and He has always provided for me.

I can say after 3 attempts at death, Im still here.

...because my Father does love me... therefore I can love...again.

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